It felt as though I was expansive; a certain wideness.
I was stretching out beyond my skin, seeping into the bedding.
Dripping further through the floor and into the walls.
I fluidly washed into everything.
Until I was pouring over the earth like honey.
Slow sticking to every inch of land and dissolving into every body of water.
My ecstatic journey was interrupted by an urge to know what time it was. Leading to concern about what 'accomplishments' I had to conquer today. My body began to harden. The connection was broken. I busied myself. Walking in what seemed to be meaningless circles. I was utterly sad. My body was a stone in which I felt every cell, each w/it's own pain. In that moment I realized THIS IS YOUR EXISTENCE
It came as a voice like a gentle breeze.
This Is Your Existence?
Existence; what I am doing now?
Existence; how I am living now?
I sat very still as images passed. Flashing like in a deck of cards being shuffled.
Some of the images were of things that I had done, some were of things I wanted and others were of me experiencing things that bring me joy.
After a time the images began to slow down.
They were of me as statue.
And me as a ball of light buzzing all around the statue.
I was there too as the people in my life.
I found myself as circumstances and opportunities.in the shape of blinking fireflies and the hum of bees. Encompassing all that was me as fear. I was the loud and angry sounds of a hurricane.
In the noise came a whisper This Is Your Existence!
This Is MY Existence!! I realized I had to release control, participate in creation in order to allow manifestation. In the business of being human. On this path I have to not only believe in a different paradigm, I have to live it. Not by trying to effectuate what I want. Nor should I try to figure out how to capture something. Especially, stop short changing the process by rushing.
TIME!
I removed my clothing along with my judgement. And the fear was silenced.
I lay down returning to my earlier state of honey.
I saw myself again covering the world now flowing as water, infusing every atom.
This time I was Present, this time I was wholly myself, this time I was creation.
The revelation came that it was an anagram: This Is My Existence was TIME. I listen from heart chakra. Time does not exist. It is merely a marker. I thought of how with the same markers time flies when you're having fun and how it drags when we're uncomfortable. A mere illusion. We are to release control, participate in the creation process so that we can manifest. In each moment be present. With each moment unfolding to us how we should use our markers. Then our intentions will have no other option but to be part of us. Living like we are infused with abundance, wholeness, and love creates manifestation.
Dedicated to my dearest friend:
Marilyn Lester; founder of Sharing the Harvest mobile food bank.
You have no idea how the seed you planted would grow.
