TIME: THIS IS MY EXISTENCE ©

I  woke up ling naked feeling very in my own skin.  Just feeling a sensuousness. My skin felt soft and smooth.  I could smell the sweetness of my hair.  A profound feeling of rightness washed over me.  I was feeling very connected and whole.

It felt as though I was expansive; a certain wideness. 

I was stretching out beyond my skin, seeping into the bedding. 

Dripping further through the floor and into the walls. 

I fluidly washed into everything. 

Until I was pouring over the earth like honey. 

Slow sticking to every inch of land and dissolving into every body of water.

My ecstatic journey was interrupted by an urge to know what time it was.  Leading to concern about what 'accomplishments' I had to conquer today.  My body began to harden.  The connection was broken.  I busied myself. Walking in what seemed to be meaningless circles. I was utterly sad. My body was a stone in which I felt every cell, each w/it's own pain. In that moment I realized THIS IS YOUR EXISTENCE   

It came as a voice like a gentle breeze. 

This Is Your Existence? 

Existence; what I am doing now? 

Existence; how I am living now?  

I sat very still as images passed. Flashing like in a deck of cards being shuffled.  

Some of the images were of things that I had done, some were of things I wanted and others were of me experiencing things that bring me joy. 

After a time the images began to slow down.  

They were of me as statue. 

And me as a ball of light buzzing all around the statue. 

I was there too as the people in my life.

I found myself as circumstances and opportunities.in the shape of blinking fireflies and  the hum of bees. Encompassing all that was me as fear. I was the loud and angry sounds of a hurricane.  

In the noise came a whisper This Is Your Existence!

This Is MY Existence!! I realized I had to release control, participate in creation in order to allow manifestation.  In the business of being human. On this path I have to not only believe in a different paradigm, I have to live it.  Not by trying to effectuate what I want. Nor should I  try to figure out how to capture something. Especially, stop short changing the process by rushing.

TIME!  

I removed my clothing along with my judgement.  And the fear was silenced.

I lay down returning to my earlier state of honey. 

I saw myself again covering the world now flowing as water, infusing every atom.

This time I was Present, this time I was wholly myself, this time I was creation.

The revelation came that it was an anagram: This Is My Existence was TIME. I listen from heart chakra. Time does not exist. It is merely a marker.  I thought of how with the same markers time flies when you're having fun and how it drags when we're uncomfortable.  A mere illusion. We are to release control, participate in the creation process so that we can manifest. In each moment be present. With each moment unfolding to us how we should use our markers.  Then our intentions will have no other option but to be part of us. Living like we are infused with abundance, wholeness, and love creates manifestation.

Dedicated to my dearest friend: 

Marilyn Lester; founder of Sharing the Harvest mobile food bank.

You have no idea how the seed you planted would grow.

http://sharingtheharvestfoodbank.com/

Pink Moon/Wolf Moon

Praise to the moon, bright queen of the skies,

Jewel of the black night, the light of our eyes,

Brighter than starlight, whiter than snow,

Look down on us in the darkness below.

If well you should find us then well let us stay,

Be it seven times better when you make your way,

Be it seven times better when we greet the dawn,

So light up our way and keep us from all harm.

Give strength to the weary, give alms to the poor,

To the tainted and needy five senses restore,

Give song to our voices, give sight to our eyes,

To see the sun bow as the new moon shall rise.

Cast your eyes downwards to our dwelling place,

Three times for favour and three times for grace,

Over the dark clouds your face for to see,

To banish misfortune and keep Trinity.

In the name of our Lady, bright maiden of grace,

In the name of the King of the City of Peace,

In the name of our Saviour, who hung on the tree,

All praise to the moon, for eternity.

by John Renbourn

7 Steps to Transmutation

Transmute - v. To change from one form, nature, substance, or state into another; transform. See Synonyms at convert.

1.  List 30 things that cause negative feelings or uncomfortable emotions in your life.
2.  Chose the top 10 most common. Then pick the top 3.
3.  Identify your unconcious negative beliefs and follow them to the root. WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.
4.  Anytime the feelings surface examine them.
5.  Weekly look at your list and notice which 3 are more prevelant each week.
6.  Train yourself to take these and see the patterns for when they surface. Transmute them into positive.
7.  Use affirmations and create a positive narrative for your life.

Mysteries of the Dark Moon Excerpt Summary

This book made me examine myself, my life and my relationships in an
entirely different  prospective.  Not only was I challenged to take a closer look but to surrender to the hidden parts that are so necessary.
Necessary because they are the gate keepers to being whole.

Traditionally, I was taught to fear and avoid the dark, evil or scary things.  Things unknown.  As I expanded my cocnciousness and broadened my scope of worship, I saw the powerful role that our shadow plays in who we are and our quality of life.  It became very evident to me that many miserable, bitter or vindictive people, were that way as a choice only partly their own.  The majority of whom have little to no tools for dealing with self limiting habits.  I've observed that these blocks and old wounds manifest in dis-ease in the physical realm.  In which case the quantity of life is also infected by the imbalance of a lack of duality.

Below I summarized a portion of the book that help me address the most prevalent of shadow: my worry/controller self.  The notion of everything working in DIVINE order for
the good of all--in a preordained cycle was more than comforting.  Many of my natural shadow that I would typically hide or fight against; I now know to recognize it without judgement.  I now show them gratitude for being an indicator for where I need to clean myself.  No attachments. No pressure to correct.  Taking gratitude, truth and love as all I need as my life goal.   Resting in the knowledge that there is nothing too great for my attainment!


The Stages of Psychic Transformation


Disintegration

The break up/down or dissolving of an old structure or paradigm.  Sometimes it is manifest in relationships, work, or even physically.  If you are someone that is often ill with non diagnosed symptoms. Recurring or not know your spirit is telling you that there is an imbalance that will eventually lead to dis-ease.

This disintegration forces us to look at our beliefs and values.  We all heard the term 'for our own good'.  Although sometimes hurtful and stressful - it really is.  When we resist letting go of those old beliefs the harder things will be.  It  creates the effect of being on a stationary bike.  Movement without forward momentum.

Disintegration gives us a chance to start over, closer in our Purpose.  When we falsely begin to assume that all things will always be the way they were.  Our resistance to change makes for stunted growth.  If we surrender to the change our move thru this stage can be painless and freeing.

The good news is that we are now ready to give birth to something new.  This is not a time of making permanent  or final plans.  We are but to observe the death of the old and witness it’s testimony.


Purification

This is the stage where we begin to heal.  After the disintegration the unneeded is purified.   In this stage we experience acceptance of what is now gone or changed.  This realization sometimes causes fear because we don’t know what will be put in place of what we let go of.  It’s like grieving.  Some experience depression. We find it difficult to have a sense of stability or comfort.

We must let go in order to be purified. This is the only way to let go of those self limiting patterns. We isolate because our self confidence is shaken.  We are drained and fatigued.  These are thought to be bad things.  We should grieve to let go and retreat to ourselves, get plenty of rest.

Cleansing our physical body internally and externally is helpful.  Mentally we need to cleanse of the idea of going backwards.  Returning to the non-serving way of being that has already disintegrated.  Tears are part of that cleansing so let it out!

If we let go we realize our own strength and power.  We take up our confidence.  We are still not sure where to go from here. But, we are accepting and embracing of what is ahead.


Regeneration

This stage is for renewal!  We see the hot mess that was before purification.  We are open to our higher selves.  If we listen to the high calling and our authentic self is laid bare.  Concerns of being accepted unconditionally may cause us to lash out.  Sub or unconsciously. Our resistance to be bold and loving of ourselves and our shit may manifest in powerful and upsetting ways.   From manifesting violence from others on us to taking on self destructive behaviors.

We must accept ourselves. Confident  that what is past should be let go and that we are preparing to give birth to something far greater.  We begin visioning.  Demetra George calls that visioning a ‘seed capsule’.

“Into this seed capsule are placed three things: 1) the distillation of wisdom essence from the past cycle, 2) our unfinished  karma and unconscious habits, and  3) our commitments for the future cycle.”                  Mysteries of the Dark Moon

In this seed capsule all our dreams and hopes for ourselves and our lives can be kept like a divine womb. There are no  limits or boundaries on what we can re-visioning our life.  We should be prepared to examine what motivates us. If we are outwardly or negatively motivated we are preparing ourselves for creating a long hard labor.  If not destroy the seed entirely.

'Mysteries of the Dark Moon' by Demetra George http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0062503707/ref=cm_cr_rev_prod_title